?

Log in

Sticky Post: The Respect Rule + ETA

Before you spork, here's something all members of Sim_Spork should know.
If you spork a story and the author shows up, finds it offensive, and wants it taken down, the mods will review it. If we find a valid reason for their complaint besides their pride (i.e. the sporker flamed the author, which isn't allowed), your spork will be removed or edited for the offensive content.
But flaming is relative, and the mods discuss it. Due to alternating time zones, it could take a day or two. But we will discuss it.
That said, I hope we don't have to enact this rule. This comm was made for fun. Who knows? Maybe we'll all have a good laugh, including the author, and everyone will get along. But we want to prevent conflicts so everyone can have a good time. :)
~June

ETA: You can find a story submission post HERE.
Chapter Five Sporking is here (and it definitely deserves that bad "Road to Nowhere" pun I just made):

http://kaleiphant.insanejournal.com/1686.html#cutid1

Title: Along the Road to Nowhere
Author: Seventeen-year-old kaleilieghphant
Description: "The Road to Nowhere is paved with Curious intentions...and asphalt." [And it's apparently going to run red because of Nervous's Grim Reaper genes. Or would if I'd actually followed through on that plot point.]
Happy Independence Day! (unless you don't celebrate it, then Happy Monday, I guess). The fourth chapter of Along the Road to Nowhere and its sporking is here:

http://kaleiphant.insanejournal.com/1402.html#cutid1

Title: Along the Road to Nowhere
Author: Seventeen-year-old kaleilieghphant
Description: "The Road to Nowhere is paved with Curious intentions...and asphalt."

Further down the Road to Nowhere

Chapter Three sporking is here:

http://kaleiphant.insanejournal.com/1150.html#cutid1

Title: Along the Road to Nowhere
Author: Seventeen-year-old kaleilieghphant (who really should have known better)
Description: Same as last one.

Now with elephant macros!

I spork myself some more!

Spork of Chapter Two is here:

http://kaleiphant.insanejournal.com/885.html#cutid1

Title: Along the Road to Nowhere
Author: Very, very BAD seventeen-year-old kaleilieghphant
Description: Same as last one.

Tags:

I spork myself!

I did a spork of a terrible story I wrote five years ago, but never posted (thankfully) until now.

The story and the spork are at this link:
http://kaleiphant.insanejournal.com/547.html#cutid1

Title: Along the Road to Nowhere
Author: Seventeen-year-old kaleilieghphant
Description (what it would've been if I'd posted it-oh, yes, I actually planned the summary for this trainwreck): "The Road to Nowhere is paved with Curious intentions...and asphalt." (I thought I was so clever for making that pun. I was a silly little person.)

I hope you are amused.

Can I post?

 Can I post here or can people only post if they're, I don't know how to explain it :P
I love what you do to stories and I have seen so many on the exchange that I can fix.
Thanks :)

Question about appropriate spork material?

Are we allowed to spork our own terrible stories? I ask because I just found an old Sim story I wrote (but never posted, thankfully) that's absolutely horrific (it does everything you should never do in stories and more), but might make for a somewhat amusing sporking.

So I decided to do another sporking

I'm a mean, cruel bitch and I wanted to spork another story because I enjoy watching the 10s and 12s cry. :]

Nah, I was bored, and I didn't want this community to die. So I'm going to let the haters hate, the bitches bitch, and the judges judge. There's a good chance there'll be another sim secret about it this week, but I'll take that chance. I'll be sporking in this lovely turquoise colour, 'cause it matches my sweater. Also I thought the story was lacking some details, so I added in my own. :]


Link: Bitches love sporkings
Title: Fame 1.1
Author: topvideo
Description: Fame 1.1  Well that's a helpful description that will allow me to guess what will happen in this story. :]


Let's get ourselves in trouble tonight!Collapse )
Also, I think I might make a new Christmas!themed banner with Leah. :]
You know what I love? Trolls.

My previous post was for trolls to come out of the woodwork, and we got two nicely unrelated troll comments, which will be quoted here for posterity.

Anon of November 14th, when has anyone made fun of Holly's surname? Seriously, I've never seen anything of this nature on Twitter.

Second troll, latest comment (Nov. 24th, 2010 06:46 pm (local))? You're very convincing, but, you know. Mods can see IPs.


Nov. 23rd, 2010 10:25 am (local)
Heeyyy :)
Personally, I think you are all the stupidest simmers on the internet. Lol, you're no different from that idiotic Mare's Nest


AND OMG. LOL. OMG. LOL. I MISSED A PERIOD, HOW EMBARRASSING ;D ;D

Haha, you're all funny people outside of here, I read some of your stories, but man you are all idiots xDDD

Feel free to PM me on boolprop, since I won't check here lol
Be sneeky (MISSPELLED WORD LOL) and find me with my IP address ;)

buhbuhbuhbye


I do like this one. Simple, nice, not very offensive.



Nov. 24th, 2010 06:46 pm (local)
Oh, and PS. FUCK YOU ALL. GO DIE IN A CORNER YOU FUGLY TROLLS AND TAKE YOUR STANK ASS DRECKS WITH YA!!!! YOU'RE IN NO POSITION TO BE CORRECTING OTHERS WHEN YOU YOURSELVES AREN'T EVEN REAL PROFESSIONAL AUTHORS!!! HAVE YOU EVEN HAD AN AGENT COME UP TO YOU OR A PUBLISHER WANTING TO SEE YOUR BOOK? NO? WELL THAT SPEAKS FORITSELF. BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FUCKING LOSERS THAT HAVE NOTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO WITH THEIR LIVES EXCEPT JUDGE OTHERS OVER THE MOTHER FUCKING INTERNET. GO EAT A BAG OF BABY DICKS YOU MOTHER FUCKING WHORES AND ONCE YOU'VE GROWN A PAIR AND HAVE ACTUALLY GOTTEN PUBLISHED COME BACK AND MAYBE SOME OF THESE PEOPLE WILL ACTUALLY LISTEN TO YOUR ADVICE. YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITES.

Kids criticising kids. Fucking morons. If you've got nothing better todo with your lives then you should just go kill yourselves. It would make the internet a whole lot better when it's finally rid of scumbags like you. GO FUCK YOUR MOTHERS YOU RETARDED CUNTS AND GO SUCK THE CUM OUT OF YOUR FATHER'S DICK WHILE YOU'RE AT IT.


Hi, troll! You would've been better with some spelling errors. And I'm quite fond of how you separated 'mother' and 'fucking'.

Oh, and? Kelsey has in fact been published.
Link: AND LYKE SO HAWT AND JUNK
Title: Forbidden 1.1
Author: dimondcardinal
Description: The first chapter... everything is not what it seems.

This is actually my first sporking, so please don't be too harsh if I do something wrong. While I did read the rules, sometimes I'm sort of slow on comprehending things. XD 
I'll just be sporking in bold.


Proceed with caution.Collapse )

I haven’t seen anyone spork a story outside of the exchange and I was wondering, would it be alright for me to do one that is on Sim Storytellers? I don’t want to break any rules and I’m not sure if it’s allowed or not.


You may or may not remember our post reminding you not to feed the trolls. I don't blame you, it was quite a while ago.

Well, I'm here to tell you that this brand-new pre-owned Buick can be yours this rule is revoked on this post only! That's right, on this post only (oh, redundancy), you have free reign to troll and comment however you wish!

HOWEVER it has to be (at first, anyhow) at least tangentially related to this secret!



Oh, and anonposter? It's 'sporked'. No apostrophe.

Now, go crazy.

Still no Charifer...

As I thought, I had No Air 5 stashed in My Documents under a pile of rubble! Check me out with my double-posting. ~Ohyes.

Point of interest, author has found my sporking and left me a couple of comments on the last chapter. She was pretty awesome about the whole thing and didn't bitch me out. She just acknowledged that her writing wasn't perfect, said she'd work on it and wished me all the best. So author, if you're reading this, as I figure you probably will, big thumbs-up to you. May you go far with your writing and may the force be with you!

Link: It's been too long we've been living under a raincloud.
Title: No Air Chapter Five
Author: littlebit728
Description: Chapter Five

Humpty dumpty doo!Collapse )


That's all from me once more. Farewell!
So there I was, just casually browsing the Exchange out of boredom with no real intension of finding a story to spork, and I came across this beauty. Well really, I couldn't just sit by and do nothing, could I? I ask you.
Today, my sporking will be bolded and algae green.

Link: Life's like a jump rope.
Title: Darkness 1.1
Author: sims2rox481
Description: The first chapter of Darkness!(also the longest amount of pages I've done yet! 30!) *slow clap*

OMG MUM JUST DIED!! Oh wells, candy pizza! *cheers*Collapse )

ETA: WHAT THE FRESH HELL. Get a load of this, you guys. "Yay, 'contest'! Make Sims for my story, 'kay? Oh, but make them look the way I want. And make my sets too, please. Thxbai!"
By the sounds of it, this story is going to be about teen pregnancy, too. Way to break out of the mould, author. /sarcasm

...this, too. Urgh. Quit bitching about the skins. You can easily change them ingame. I've downloaded plenty of Sims with Absurdly Shiny Skin which I've changed to Maxis-match because that's my preference. Still, credit is due for using Maxis skins, I guess...

Two-For-One Legacy Sporkage!

Hello, Sporkers! There's been a distinct lack of spork around these parts lately. School resuming tends to do that, but never fear! Upon recommendation I have a new selection for your perusal. Enjoy!

Link: I want it bad, your bad romance.
Title: Updates with Bloou...and some other stuff THAT'S NOT VAGUE
Author: bloou13
Description: Updates, a loss , horrendous spacing, and a new legacy. What other things would you expect from a girl with A.D.H.D.? Insert irrelevant details such as "author has ADD"?

My legacy is not up to my genes. (Yes, yes it is.)Collapse )

~June

Tags:

So hey, everyone! I am back in the sporking saddle. Ready to hit the old dusty trails with comma splices and incorrect dialogue blowing across my path like so many tumbleweeds.
Woo and hoo.
As sometimes happens, the author of this story asked for it to be sporked. Before we begin, I'd just like to say that it's not poorly written at all. I have no idea where her writing insecurities come from, but they are, for the most part, unfounded. I'd also like to apologize because she asked me to spork this like, a month ago, but university is a harsh mistress and demands a lot of my time. Seriously. It's like BEESH I AIN'CHO BABY MAMA! GTFO!

Anyway, on with the show!

The Game Master - One

Created By:

kittyluvjess
Description: Leave all your love and your longing behind, you can't carry it with you if you want to survive Let me guess...it's a song title.

FROSTBITE! XDDCollapse )

I really can't stay.


Guess who’s given herself food poisoning? No, really guess. Can I just say that no one ever told me that food in the fridge decays just as fast as food outside the fridge. I thought that the quiche would be okay because it was only four days past its best-before date! But oh well, I get to catch up on Spooks and my sporking. Enjoy this story that was in no way, shape or form plagiarised. You may think that you’ve read it before, but you totally haven’t.

Link: But baby, it’s cold outside.

Title: Veronaville Your Penis Is My Moon

Author: SpellTell

Description: Your Penis Is My Moon, Part One :D just tell me if you want more of my penis. ;] Well, winky face generally means something dirty ;)

 

Baby it’s cold. Out. Side! *breaks out the jazz hands*Collapse )

 


Hi everyone! This is my first sporking - my sarcastic comments are in a pretty shade of purple, to match the purple prose. All spelling fails are crossed out.


Last time on Sim Spork: Faythe Meek (which has to be one of the worst Mary-Sue names since Enoby Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way) mouthed off to her captors and was generally annoying. What kind of name is "Faythe" anyway? I don't know if the author intends it to be pronounced as "Faith" or some kind of weird mash-up between "Faith" and "Faye" (which is how I would pronounce it).

Link: You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake.
Title: Keeping Faythe 1.3
Author: bannabambina
Description: "Well, I am amazingly talented and super awsome."- Faythe Meek SHUT. UP. More like amazingly obnoxious and super annoying. The chapter description alone makes me hate her.

Is this the real life, is this just fantasy...Collapse )

Tags:

How can five slides contain such fail?

Hey guys! For the first time in probably months I'm back to spork something solo. As I'm pressed for time before dinner with the friendlies I found this little five-slide gem that promises laughs and sheer what-the-fuckery abound. I could barely understand it, and I'm thinking you'll feel the same way. 

Now, let us delve into the goods! I'll be sporking in bolded green.


Link: I'm about to make my way down to the floor, 'cause I don't think I can hold it back no more!
Title: A singel *facepalm* thorn You actually capitalize the full title of a story.
Author: edwardforever202 This is promising.
Description: Rain cludsand thunder storms, that described me. I wish I knew what this was supposed to say so that I could translate it for you. Sadly, I have no fucking clue. Not the warm sand and blazing sun. -Charlie No, you put a quote in quotations!

I just... I don't even... I just don't know what this is!Collapse )

Random angst is fun!

I'm back, with a now fully-recovered and happy brain, to spork the most recent in that brand new series "The Family". Now, this WOULD have been a spork for chapter two, but the author failed and chapter three has replaced it! Grr. Sorry guys, but I was recovering. :( My sporkage will be bolded and green

Title: Summer Jewel's Diary Chapter 3: Teen Already Well yeah, I mean she's 10 with five days left until she's a teen? Unless she entered some strange time vortex or invented the time machine.
Name: Dhwll0
Description: Here's Chapter 3! Man these chapters are flying past...aren't they? hehe That's not a good thing. It just shows you're possibly rushing the chapters.
Link: thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php

Someone call the WaaaambulanceCollapse )

Tags:

I was browsing the Exchange today whilst I was waiting for my computer to load up, and on the very first page I had discovered this strange story. It has some weird stuff about a breakup and a girl who prefers her dad over her mum, I don't even know what's going on half the time, the plot just seems to throw random things at you. :|. Today's spork will be bolded and red :)

Title: The Family
Author name: Dhwll0
Description: Hey! This story is about a little girl... Story says it all, Hope u enjoy it! Oh, "enjoy" isn't the word for this. :-D
Link: thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php

Angst is fun! :DCollapse )

Queen Leah Makes Her Debut!

Hello, Sporkers! I received a request to upload our community mascot, Miss Leah Spork, and thus, here she is!

Her basic stats don't really matter; feel free to change them as you please. In my game, she's a Scorpio and a Knowledge Sim. She'll look a bit different in your game based on what default replacements you have installed. In the pictures, she's shown with my defaults in.

What makes you think you're something special when you smile?Collapse )



~June

Say You Won't Leave Me No More


Once again, this is not the story threatened by Ten’s fan-turned-psycho (yes, I am still holding my breath for that one guise). But you know how it is, the word angel and a possessive pronoun just gets my hopes up – then dashes them cruelly against the ground.

Dear Author,

Copying and pasting from Word is your friend. If I am overly harsh today, it’s because spell/grammar checking gives me a headache and I will feel guilty if I don’t do it because you need to improve yours.

Love, Your friendly neighbourhood sporker.

Link: I’ll forgive, and forget, if you say you’ll never go
Title: My Angel, Sent From Hell 1.0
Author: kristen6249
Description: My Angel, Sent From Hell..... Unless This Is A Song Title I Advise You Not To Write Like This Because It Makes You Look Like A Nincompoop. And Even Then I Advise You Not To Use Song Titles/Lyrics Cos We Don’t Like ‘Em In The Place Of Descriptions. (Note to readers: It is not a song title.)

 

In Opposite World, then paragraphs don't existCollapse )

 

Everybody Loves Sue!

By popular request, here we have the next edition of "Keeping Faythe," the story with the most mangled spelling of a perfectly fine name ever! The chapters are quite lengthy, so pop some popcorn, sit back, relax, and revel in the bad.

Link: Don't wanna hear your sad songs, I don't want to feel your pain
Title: Keeping Faythe 1.2
Author:
bannanabambina She misspelled "banana." Also, what the hell does this mean? "Bambino" is Italian for "baby," so does she mean "banana baby"?
Description: "Carmen, get the Tequila."- Dylan Armstrong Unless you're referring to Tila Tequila, that word is not a proper noun and should not be capitalized.

Recap: Rebellious rich girl Faythe Meek is in love with her couch and hates her parents despite the stipend she gets from them every month for no reason. Her little sister is supah-hXc because she runs away to her sister's place, but has been feeling watched lately. No one cares until a bunch of hot kidnappers show up. Faythe is supah-brave and goes off with them in lieu of her sister, who cries herself to sleep on the pavement for she melts into Jell-O when real shit is going down. Faythe mouths off to everyone and their mother, but unfortunately does not get her brains blown out for it. Most of her kidnappers are in love with her because she's supah-hawt. She claims to be a jeans and t-shirts girl despite going out in booty shorts and stripper boots to walk her sister to school. It was really, really bad. Onward?

FEELS LIKE I'M GOING INSANECollapse )

Tags:

Submit A Story

Hi everyone! Tonight on twitter Mara came up with the idea of submitting a story for sporking. You can submit a story of your own if you want feedback on it, or just shitty stories from the exchange that you feel should be sporked.

Basically you'll post a link to the story in the comment section here, with the author's username and the story title. Anyone who wants to spork a story can reply to that comment saying that they'll take it. If there is more than one sporker that wants to do it, it's first come first serve. (Or you can set up a joint spork, if you'd like)

Hopefully this makes sense, let me know if you need clarification. :]

THE FINAL FINAL TEN!

So originally this was supposed to be one big post, but it was too long. XD Part two!

Link:
And there was much rejoicing.
Title: Crimson Nights Final
e
Author:
imperfect415
Description: Our happily ever after has finally come.
What are you talking about? The entire series was kind of twisted rape-fantasy happy ending with no drama! Wait, Kels…there was lots of drama. What was lacking was plot.
This is it. Promise.Collapse )This is it. Promise.Collapse )

Hey hey hey guys. Whilst Kels is working on the LAST (sob, sob) part of Crimson Nights, I thought that I’d go solo for a bit. Well, actually I was asked to spork one of the following person’s stories, and being the kind generous soul that I am, I accepted the challenge (and the allowance of massive amounts of snark without retribution). Because I’m not used to Word 2010 yet (after surviving on ‘98 for the past 12 years) my comments will be in a simple bold.

Link: There was something I was supposed to do…
Title: The Forgotten Chapter One
Author: MLittlepaw
Description: The forgotten will always come back to you, one way or another.... like a missing sock that gets stuck in the tumble dryer.
 

Put your hand up if your doctor would do this for youCollapse )
And because I cannot find a tape measure to tell my new doctor what my waist size is, take part deux for free.


Link: … but I just can’t remember.
Title: The Forgotten Chapter 2 And we were getting along so well. Spell it out, kthnxbye.
Author: MLittlepaw
Description: Love can be lost, love can be found. We discussed this. It’s stuck in the dryer.

Sleeping billow, that's one too.Collapse )

People DIE when they are killed!

Hello, and welcome to my first sporking! Technically this is my second, but the first one didn't get past moderation due to lack of LJ cuts. Oops! Anyways, sit back and enjoy the fail.

My comments will be in bold throughout the spork to prevent extra eyehurt.

Link: Onoez cancer!!!!!!!!1111ONE
Title: Billy – Prologe Spell check was made for a reason, gurlfriend.
Author: marinesister10
Description: New story, please rate! I'd rather not. First off, you would bitch about how your ratings are low. Secondly, you would bring unnecessary DRAMAZ!! into the picture (as if the BBS isn't already filled with it).
 

Death is cheap...Collapse )

MODTARS!

Hi guys! After some discussion in Twitter, we mods came up with the idea having having modtars. These modtars feature our dinosaur of choice, thanks to hbkr22, our title, and 'MOD'. We still have to make one for Kyra, though.

Also, NicoleK95 has made a sporking song. You can find it HERE. I suggest that we modify it slightly, and steal it.





That is all.

Profile

Sim Spork
sim_spork
Sporks Make Us Platinum

Latest Month

August 2011
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031   

Tags

Page Summary

Syndicate

RSS Atom
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner