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How can five slides contain such fail?

Hey guys! For the first time in probably months I'm back to spork something solo. As I'm pressed for time before dinner with the friendlies I found this little five-slide gem that promises laughs and sheer what-the-fuckery abound. I could barely understand it, and I'm thinking you'll feel the same way. 

Now, let us delve into the goods! I'll be sporking in bolded green.


Link: I'm about to make my way down to the floor, 'cause I don't think I can hold it back no more!
Title: A singel *facepalm* thorn You actually capitalize the full title of a story.
Author: edwardforever202 This is promising.
Description: Rain cludsand thunder storms, that described me. I wish I knew what this was supposed to say so that I could translate it for you. Sadly, I have no fucking clue. Not the warm sand and blazing sun. -Charlie No, you put a quote in quotations!

This is my new story! IAPOSTROPHEm no longer doing Dying on the Inside Living on the OutPERIOD. And I think, based only on the name, I'm going to dare to make the pre-emptive judgement that her previous story was made of fail it just got so boring. Taken Breath Is that 'take a breath' or the title of a story? iAPOSTROPHEm taking a break from because i CAPITALIZE 'I' dont know what to write next ...Um, what? Like, seriously, what did that sentence even mean? IDEK. This story was in my head and i Oh my God. didnAPOSTROPHEt want to wait to write it so here it is. Sign my GB tell me if you like itCOMMA hate itCOMMA or what you want me to work onPERIOD. And that sentence made very little sense! thanks again!
-Edwardforever

I missed the sound of the rain on my window's class LOL WHUT? FAIL. and the way it sent shivers down my spine
Random space is random when it touched my pale skin. The move was sudden, Semeh-colon, not comma those last few weeks went by like leaves in the wind. Ur sew poetic~~~ The reason we moved made sense. Oooookay... so what was the reason for your family moving? My new baby sister was part of it. The plot thickens /sarcasm. But seriously, what the fuck is going on? She was born only three months after we had moved in. I knew that wasn't the only reason, my mother had started missing the smell of the ocean and the heat of the sun. She had been born and rasied in Los Angels LMAO FAIL, California. My dad, brother and I all born and raised in Chicago, Illinosies LMAO WHUT IS THIS? IDEK!. I reallyCOMMA truly missed it. The more I sat watching the ocean go back and forth like the ~~fragile, delicate swing in my back yard as I swung on it while my blonde locks whipped around in the wind, the worse I felt. (See? I can be ~poetic~ too!)

I dipped my toe into the waters edge. It was a hot day reaching into the hundeds The fail, it is intense. Celsius or fahrenheit? ENQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW! School had been hard. With my grade's teacher's father's motorcycle from my old school I had been placed in the advanced classes. I wasn't the smartest kid ever. THEN WHY WERE YOU PLACED IN ADVANCED CLASSES? All the other kids ignorede LOL FAIL me, or a least it seemed. I could hear them whispering as I passed by, her Is she trying to be gangster, or is this just a spelling fail? LOL JKS, I know it's a spelling fail. them mutterCOMMA "Nerd. Not period - comma" just loud enough so no teacher would hear, but I did and trust me it didn't make me feel good. Holy run-on sentence, batman! I noticed that all the girls hated me, all the guy's penises (or is it peni?) had crushes on me and all the teachers saw me as just another studant FAIL. Great, it was all just great. Yes, she's a Sue. Yes, this entire story is going to be one very fail-tastic cliche.

Cue snoozing.



Slowly, I pulled myself out of my chair and into the salty water. You pulled yourself into the salty water? Also, I may be wrong but I'm pretty sure you don't go swimming in salt water lakes... It started seeping Wrong choice of words, bb through my jeans. I didn't care. IT'S MY LIFE! The water was cool on my hot skin. OMGEZ IT'S SO ~~SENSUAL I herd the front door open then close rapidly. Mom had just left for workWHYISTHEREASPACEBETWEENTHEWORDANDTHECOMM,ANDNOSPACEOVERHERE?leaving Cameran Fail spelling, dad (who was actually special enough to have a capitalized name, despite my fail-worthy implications), Soyer OHMYGOD and me here only to wait for her return because we had nothing else better to do with our time.

So that was the first chapter! What did ya NO- you think?! I think three slides of fail don't constitute a chapter. I think it had no plot, the character was boring, and your narration was incomprehensible. I've never had so much trouble getting through so little content. Yeah i know it was short but i *facepalm* wanted to get it out the next chapter will be longer and more exciting. Wanna bet? The next chapter will be out soon. Later days. OMG WEEKENDERS!
-Edwardforever

LATER DAYS, GUISE!

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
imxplosion
Oct. 2nd, 2010 09:57 pm (UTC)
What the fuck is this?

Great sporking, Canadian Bitch 2. ;)
maranazar
Oct. 2nd, 2010 10:58 pm (UTC)
That was awful.
Truly, truly awful. I don't think anything so awful has crossed our ~Internet threshold before.


Also, she wasn't the smartest kid, and the kids didn't like her, but she was ~advanced, called a nerd and the guys wanted her? WTF?

Also, OMG, WEEKENDERS! I miss that show. D:

imxplosion
Oct. 2nd, 2010 11:33 pm (UTC)
I REMEMBER WATCHING THAT SHOW IN THE MORNING BEFORE LEAVING FOR SCHOOL. :D
julessims
Oct. 3rd, 2010 01:05 am (UTC)
I hope it's Celsius! At least then the Sue would most likely be dead soon.
legacypiplup
Oct. 3rd, 2010 01:36 pm (UTC)
O_o

That was the most bizarre 'story' I've seen for a while. I, like Jules, hope it's Celsius. :D

Weekenders! I remember watching that show when babysitting. One of the best shows I remember when babysitting.
secrettunnel
Oct. 7th, 2010 03:33 am (UTC)
The author uploaded another chapter of this. Are you going to continue sporking it?
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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