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So originally this was supposed to be one big post, but it was too long. XD Part two!

And there was much rejoicing.
Title: Crimson Nights Final
Description: Our happily ever after has finally come.
What are you talking about? The entire series was kind of twisted rape-fantasy happy ending with no drama! Wait, Kels…there was lots of drama. What was lacking was plot.

LOLWUT?  You guys read it right which is odd considered I can’t spell finale. Or yeah/yep; Its applesauce is finally prepared for the Finale!
I absolutely loved this series.
I did not. Seconded. And Thirded. And Millionthed. Millionthed and one…ed?
I had a
spacelot of fans for it comma too.
I have a surprise for you at the end. :} -->

My eyes flew open
with their tiny little wings and my vision was finally clear. I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW, THE BABBY’S GONE! That was anti climatic. I saw Asher's angelic face with a grin (TM) Asher’s Angelic Face with Grin a limited time offer; coupon not valid in South America or Alaska. Bzuh?, he was also holding a small child - a toddler, actually. No wonder: I'd been pregnant for twelve to fifteen months!. I knew whose child it was. Ours. You sure? You did pass out, and were therefore unable to see what was happening. Maybe he stole a Pitt-Jolie, they wouldn’t miss one. Or maybe Scene!Sue was pregnant too and that’s why she wasn’t hanging out with them. Asher had tricked Asian!Sue into thinking she was pregnant by feeding her funny whelks. This baby is the ~Killer. Phear it. I jumped up and kissed Asher real quickly, PERIOD. Also, where does she find the energy after labour?
''Can I hold him?'' I asked in a whisper.
Damn, looks like my backache related hoarseness was here to stay.
SPACEs a girl. Look, I even got a diamanté dog lead made especially for the occasion. It has her name on it.'' He corrected me. I've RTC always wanted a baby girl..DOT ''And yescomma you can.'' Okay, Heaven help the man who thinks he can tell me I can’t hold my baby. Just sayin’.
I smiled with joy as he handed me the infant. I rocked her back and forward kissing her a zillion times.
That must've taken a while!


Asher laughed and kissed my cheek lightly.
''You did great by the way.'' He winked. I laughed. That sounded wrong..
DOT Wow, really? No one winks anymore. I’ve never seen anyone wink. Ever. My whole life. As long as I lived. Since my birth, no one has ever…well…you get the picture.

SPELL THE WORD Years Later (OMG Sorry for the wall. I forgot to put it up! I just realized. OMG! Pause the game and put the wall up, it’s not hard!)
I was 19
SPELL, Asher was 20 THE, Miranda was 20 WORDS, and our child Taylor was 5 OUT.
Today was our wedding,
and we were having it in our backyard because we had no money because we didn’t get any GCSEs (or American equivalent) and therefore couldn’t get a job and were dirt poor. We said our vows and everybody clapped for the cheerleaders next door and ignored us as we joined together as Husband and Wife which, by the way, did not need the unnecessary capitals. If I'd have completed my education I would've known that. Finally a family. That sentence made no sense. Asher and I still loved eachspaceother dearly since we were 15 FFS! and To Sir, With Love. (What? It's a good movie!) Anyway, to (without any capitals) me, That shouldn't be capitalized but was amazing nonetheless. I felt like I was living inside an episode of ‘The Tenlight Zone,’ because normally, in this situation, I’d be a single mother right now.

Our Daughter
(she’s obvs vair vair ~~*~speshul and deserves the capital D), Taylorcomma grew up to be a stunning young girl. She had a cute button nose, Glossy full lips face one, Her daddy's beautiful chocolate eyes, My tan complex tan complex? So she had a complex about being tan? Did she go to the baby tanning bed? Did she have a My First Spray Tan set?, and long black hair that fell to her waist. I just hate that description so much. She was an angel (not another one! Besides, wasn't she supposed to be a ~~killer, genetically speaking? That plot device got left behind a long time ago.) and Asher and I were proud of her. She was a very bright little girl and always will be because she will stay in school until she’s at least thirteen before finding her one twu wuv, and leaving to have a baby with him. How do you know that? And thanks for that RTC!. I watched my daughter's every graceful movement and everything about her reminded me of hHeaven. Ew, whatever. I know that was supposed to be touching or something, but it just sounded stupid. Forced? Purple?

It was the
SUPER DUPER SPECIAL AND AMAZING Bride and Groom's turn to dance, who, surprisingly enough, didn't have to have their titles capitalized, BUT THEY WERE SUPER DUPER SPECIAL AND AMAZING! and Asher pulled me in, This comma is unnecessary and held me close as we swayed to the music. He had a big grin on his face, and his eyes sparkled with excitement. Or a mad Killer lust for blood, I could never tell which one. Hoping for the former, I smiled at him.
''You look goregous .
Ugly. You look ugly. You should have finished school, then you wouldn’t look like GORE.'' He smiled, and kissed my cheek. Those bloody entrails really bring out the colour of your lips.
''Thank you. And you look handsome.'' I raised my eyebrows, and he laughed.
''I'm so happy with you
- you made me a sammich, did the dishes, and fucked me all before we got hitched today. That's all I need in mah woman.'' He whispered, making me blush. I still did that since I was a young teenager. We danced for a few more minutes and now NO. it was time for everybody to dance. Unfortunately, they had all left to join the cheerleaders’ party while we were making mushy eyes.

My daughter skipped over to me and jumped up and down excitedly. I raised my eyebrows in amusement, My daughter was always a happy young girl, full of life and adventure
and the explosive devices that Asher had implanted in her body to prevent her being more than fifty yards from him at any one time. That was the worst run-on sentence ever. It overjoyed me to see her like that. And hopefully, This comma is unnecessary she'll stay that sweet and happy forever and attract a nice young man so I can be a gramma at twenty-eight.
''Mommycomma Mommy! Can I dance with you?'' She had a grin on her face that could light up this cruel world. ...Bzuh? They had to get the Mercedes in yellow, not pink the other day. It was a horrible scene: Mini!Sue crying, Asian!Sue rocking in a corner with her hands over her ears, Asher banging his head against a wall… just horrible. Wait, what?
''Of course.'' I giggled with her as I took her small
comma petite hands (It's not like small and petite mean essentially the same thing, anyway) and danced with her. She talked to me through the whole dance, and I payed FAIL attention in everySPACEway possible. I didn't wanna miss a word she said, because soon she’d have her own babies to talk to.

Later that night, Miranda shooed us away to our room and offered to take care of Taylor for the night since it was our wedding
Asher seemed to have frostbite again. As soon as they were out of sight, Asher knocked me off my feet ABUSE! into his arms, PERIOD. he grinned and our lips attached softly
LOL GEM, PICTURE?. We wanted this night to be different. Use handcuffs *nod.* Or get Miranda in there for a threesome: that'll mix things up. He took me up to our room that stayed the same since we were teens. Way to be different. EW! You’ve never washed it!? Dirty, dirty Sue! He gently laid my body down on the bed and crawled over to me because the imminent sexytimez meant that he lost control of his legs. We whispered sweet things to eachSPACEother as we filled the gap between us with love LOL WHUT? GEM, MOAR PICTURES? :D XDDDDD FILL THE WORLD WITH LOVE GIRLS! LOOOOVE!!!!!ONE!. He pulled the long silk dress of my body slowly and we made love that night, PERIOD. It was much different from all the others. Who are these others? I thought that you and Asher were eternal snuggle buddies? I guess usually the go for quickies? I will WHY DO YOU CHANGE TENSES? always love Asher, and I hoped we would be together forever. Oh my God, that ending sentence was fucked up.


… And finally, a meteor hit a house in Suesville USA last night. Three Sues and a AStu were in residence. There were no survivors. Observers say that the exterior was coated with several thousand metal eating implements. There was much rejoicing.

OH EM GEE! LAME! We never found out why the nights are crimson! I want my money back!

Awwsz. What the fuck is that supposed to be? The keyboard making a last cry for help? Cute eh? :} No. Fuck no. Now for the surprise, DUNSPACEDUNSPACEDUN...
I'm gonna make a story soon on Taylor's life.
Oh, God. D: I don't know when the prologue will come out since I'm a busy lady here. *Sigh* I’m slightly saddened this never appeared, although it would probably be exactly the same, with ‘Taylor’ replacing ‘Andy.’ >_> I'm working for a magazine, I have a life, I have school (Year 5 is sew ~hard! We spent half the time sewing pictures of fish.) and family and friends, I already have another story going on, and I'm gonna start on the new story soon. I'd just like to point out that I'm about to be a part of a very demanding journalism course but you don't see me complaining. It's hard to decide if this sentence was made for bragging purposes or in the hopes of gaining sympathy, but I think it's irritating as fuck. I have activites activities? to do. so yeah. :T Hopefully you guys understand anyway, TBH I don't give a shit. love youuuuuu <---- WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE? Run Kels, run away NAOW!!
Zoe x

WHEEEEEE! WE FINISHED THE FIRST TRIPLE SPORK :DDD *sets off party poppers* It was an honour to spork with you guise. YAY! I love it. =) We must do a tri-spork again.


( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 10th, 2010 09:38 pm (UTC)
Someone stab me. That was so horrible. It took her eleventy trillion chapters to get to THAT? WHAT.
Oh my God, Ten, Taylor is not on an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras! That makeup looks so gaudy and horrible and it makes me want to puke. Let children be children (until they turn fourteen and start having babbys in your stories).
WTF was that sudden darkness? How did she forget she got raped? How did she forget she was ~in danger~? Why did Miranda fall off the face of the earth? Why is their sex life so boring and repetitive? Why must she torment angel!baby with her own series? Why can't your idea of having Miranda actually being pregnant been canon? WHY WAS SHE PREGNANT FOR A YEAR FFS SHE IS NOT AN ELEPHANT!
I loved the tri-sporking of this, you guys! Awesomeness. <333333
Sep. 12th, 2010 03:51 am (UTC)
I know right?

I've seen make-up on toddlers and kids look natural and enhance their features. This is just, as you said, gaudy.

Ten...got bored of the story and wanted to end it. XD What do you expect?

Yay, glad it was enjoyed. =)
Sep. 11th, 2010 03:52 am (UTC)
I couldn't read this without enlarging the font (I have bad eyesight), but maybe I shouldn't have read it, to preserve my sanity.

We whispered sweet things to each other as we filled the gap between us with love.

Oh God EWWWW. I just got the nastiest mental image when I read that line.

Why is Taylor wearing lipstick and eyeshadow? She's five years old!
Sep. 11th, 2010 04:17 am (UTC)
Oh God EWWWW. I just got the nastiest mental image when I read that line.

Me too! Mine had lots of chocolate and whipped cream...and not in a good way. -_-
Sep. 12th, 2010 03:49 am (UTC)
Sorry! When I pasted it from word, every other paragraph was a different size, so...yeah. I'm sorry. =(

That was the most epically fail-licious line ever, I know. XD

Ten logic is not the same as our earth logic. *nod nod*
Sep. 11th, 2010 04:25 am (UTC)

This totally made my day. :) Thanks, you three, for being awesome and funny throughout!! The "illustrative" pictures, the spazzing over (lack of) plot/sense/sanity, the gifs... did I mention that you guys are awesome? (With wills of iron, LOL.)

We must do a tri-spork again.
*votes for it, jumping up and down*
Sep. 12th, 2010 03:47 am (UTC)
Yay. I'm glad it made your day. =) Gem and Kelsey are hilarious, non?

I'm sure we will. This was too much fun to happen only once. =)
Sep. 12th, 2010 02:31 am (UTC)
spork request
Hi Sim Spork!
I've been reading the sporkings on this site for a while now, and I've decided I want my story sporked. It was just uploaded to the Exchange; the title is The Game Master. I would really appreciate it if someone took some time to spork it.
BTW, loved this spork! :-)
Sep. 12th, 2010 03:46 am (UTC)
Re: spork request
Absolutely. Could you send me a link?
Sep. 12th, 2010 04:03 am (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 13th, 2010 08:32 pm (UTC)
Um, what? This isn't Twitter, and who the fuck is 'animeluver45'?

Also, way to create sock puppets for no reason whatsoever.

I laugh in your general direction!
Sep. 13th, 2010 08:37 pm (UTC)
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of ELDERBERRIES!
Sep. 13th, 2010 08:36 pm (UTC)
Sugar, you really need a better hobby. This is just sad.
Sep. 14th, 2010 12:47 am (UTC)
Oh, it's the end of an era! I has a sad now :(

Sep. 14th, 2010 01:31 am (UTC)
Awesome gif is awesome (and a little disturbing) :P You always have the best ones!
Sep. 14th, 2010 04:32 am (UTC)
lol thanks bb. It's too bad my photobucket bandwidth is shot to hell, otherwise I'd spam like crazy!

This is a very hard time for me.

Sep. 16th, 2010 01:11 am (UTC)
Oh. My Gosh. This is the worse excuse for a story, ever! I swear, this is the most ostupid piece of crap I've ever seen. Here's the link to it:


Damn twelves. *Shakes fist*
Oct. 2nd, 2010 07:40 am (UTC)
Hi random people my friend's sister comments on
Alright, I'm Darcy, nice to meet you people. My friend's sister (rissy101) keeps talking about how funny sim spork is, so I'd thought I'd try it out. I'm 10 years old and I reckon I could write better.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )


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